Captain’s Log, Entry One
(Title subject to change without notice, at the sole discretion of the author, because this started sounding too Trekkie.)

Normally, I start the podcast with: “Welcome to the Cannon Crue Podcast…” Writing, though, is a different critter. And even though I get paid to write documents in my day job, this still feels... different. But here we go—another journey, this time with the written word, and the first entry into the Crue’s log.

Weekly report: Ben Pirmann does not get paid enough for the wonders he performs. I will stand by that statement—unless, of course, my season ticket price goes up to cover any salary bump. In that case, I reserve the right to reassess.

Let’s look back:

  • 2021: 10–15–7, with a goal differential of -11.

  • 2022: Just 6 wins, 21 losses, and 7 draws. Forty-one goals for. Seventy-seven against. That’s a -35 GD. Negative. Thirty. Five. Welcome to the USL, Rob!

  • 2023: Enter Ben. Or, as I call it, “Project Stop Granit from Crying in the Parking Lot.” Final record: 17–9–8. GD still at only +4, but progress. (To be fair, it wasn’t just Ben—we also got several of his former players and some new guy walking on the pitch looking at the water sprinklers.) Welcome to the 843, Lee!

  • 2024: 18–6–10, GD +34, with 72 goals scored and only 38 conceded. Massive.

And here’s the wild one:
Successful pass distribution jumped from 10,330 to 15,216. That’s a 47.3% increase. Not just passes—successful passes. Sure, we’ve got better players now—but if not for Ben, would we?

The most demonstrative of progress is the 34 point difference between 2022 at 25 points and 2023 at 59. Single biggest point turnaround in USL history.

And while we’re at it, this is also a case study in tactical philosophy. Gone is the “all-out attack” mindset of the previous regime—the one where the coach didn’t believe in passing backward. Ever. Now, we play possession ball. Controlled, intentional, patient. And it works.

So thank you, Ben. And thank you to the ownership team. What you’ve built is something special.

Ps. Rob and Lee, whatever bonus structure you have in Ben’s contract appears to be too easy to meet!